back to school
Everybody around me is going to school, or has started already. Matthew and Lisa are in High school. Megan starts her Jr. year of college in a few weeks. Mom starts up with the last of her prerequisites before nursing school. Sarah is getting back into college with an english class. Leonard is doing his real estate classes.
It feels so weird to be (almost) the only one NOT going back to school. I’ve always been the scholarly member of the family.
Truthfully, when I think about it, I really am learning a lot these days. I taught myself PHP in the last year, and CSS in the last few years. I’ve spent a lot of time researching and learned a lot of health information about CFIDS in the last year. I’m in a continuous state of learning about Movable Type, Perl, and all its related info.
But its not a focused type of studying. Which is probably all that I can handle right now, anyhow. Its just different.
I think I was really taken back when an old friend of the family asked what we all were doing these days, and I said something about not working right now, and she said she was surprised, that I was always the ambitious one. I didn’t have time to explain or contradict her, but I felt bad about it afterwards.
I am still the ambitious scholarly girl, I swear. Inside, I feel like I could take on another degree or some certifications. Outside, my body says no way, I already do to much. I’ve completed college, and even though it wasn’t exactly in the field I am enjoying now, there really isn’t much that I need to do to be qualified for the things I am doing and the ways I am expanding my business. So more school really isn’t *necessary*.
Yeah, this is a completely babbley post, and I don’t feel like I finished up any thoughts completely. Its just been floating in my head for a while now.
Comments
*hug* Although our situations are different, I can relate to what you’re feeling. Everyone expected me to have a PhD by now and to be on the track to being a professor, and then my grad school experience kind of blew up in my face. Now I think it’s not even something I want, and I’m stripping my life back to what I want and learning a lot about myself in the process. It’s time I desperately need, but I know a lot of people consider me something of a failure now, and it hurts even though I know I’m doing the right thing for me. I’m still the girl voted "Most Likely to Succeed", but now I’m seeking success in ways that a lot of people just don’t seem to understand.
Posted by: Brandy | September 15, 2003 06:00 PM
i’m reading this comment to post a comment and whoa, the font is really huge!!! just wanted to let you know.
my question is: what degree did you graduate with? i haven’t finished mine but am taking a complete turn - from computers to teaching! i’m so excited!
Posted by: Kathy | September 16, 2003 02:13 PM