kadyellebee

I got a chilll when I read that article... by that definition, I suffer from the syndrome, but I doubt I could get medical attention or familial sympathy. I’ve been checked for several things and the only recommendation my doctor had was to watch my cholesterol. In the meantime, I’m still doing too much. I’ll get a brief reprieve during January, and then it starts all over again until May.

Hurried woman, that’s me.

I am a 41 year old with a 6 year old boy and 2 year old daughter. My husband works nights and I work days. I am 30lbs overweight, tired all the time and have absolutely no sex drive. In the past, I never had a problem with my weight (23 inch waist, 125lbs) but the past few years, yes years, I have been unable to get rid of that so called baby fat I gained during pregnancy. Not wanting sex drives my husband crazy. We have more arguments over him not getting enough than any thing else. Between work and juggling activities with the children, ie., homework, activities, dinner, and finances, I never find the time to actually clean the house or spend time with my husband. At times I feel like a failure. I must be a HURRIED WOMAN. If anyone can help or feel like commenting, please do. I am at my witts end!.

Hurried too.

I am a man sympathetic to the so-called hurried woman syndrome. However, I think women just need to get over stress. Stress is something everyone lives with and has to deal with every day and it is the Catch All excuse for everything. I am a 35 yr old man with a 7yr and 15 yr old boys. I could be considered the Hurried Man. I own and operate two business (IT service industry) work 60 - 80 hours a week. Coach both of my sons soccer teams(six days a week). My wife is not the Soccer Mom does not have to run to soccer practice every night (I do). I Help out around the house ( albeit I could probably do more). BUT I still find time to love my wife, have a desire for sex on almost every day of the week. I am slightly over weight, somewhat active adult. Women want to make excuses for lack of sex drive, gaining a few pounds, etc.. I believe all this psycho babble is BS. Gaining weight is a direct correlation to age lack of activity and will power. DO You want to lose weight? Get off your bum, Get up 45 minutes earlier in the morning and walk/jog around the block. You would be surprised at how much weight you can lose. I am slightly over weight, but I also realize that it is my eating habits and lack of working out... WOMEN GET OVER IT, bite the bullet and DEAL WITH IT.

Lack of sex drive is just the lack of desire/romance that women say they must have. BUT be the man that tries to send the kids to grandmas for the weekend to add some romance into the picture and all you get for your time and effort is gripe and nagging about why did you send the kids to grandmas, we need to clean the house, do the dishes , etc etc etc, nag nag nag blah blah blah. Women we sent the kids to grandma FOR YOU.

My wife is a professional woman works as hard and sometimes harder than I do. But she never recognizes the efforts I have to put into work/life/etc... Its always about her and how hard her life is and/or more often about what I do not do or do not offer around the house. "You’re never home" & "You forgot the trash" or "You forgot to change the oil in the car" well yes I did I was running 1 or both kids to soccer practice, coaching the team, dealing with the league or I was at work at a Client’s office dealing with computer issues so I can earn a paycheck and kept the kids feed. Where were you. O yeah doing your part, earning your paycheck so we can have the bigger house, with the 3 car garage. Doing your part to fix dinner, which by the way I do a couple of times a week, I also fix breakfast on the weekends.

Women, stop take a step back and look at what your man does for you and the family. Most of us work hard at the relationship, but we also realize it is not a big deal if the socks are left on the floor for the evening or the glass is left on the coffee table over night. LIGTEN Up...

Forget the socks on the floor or dishes in the sink grab your man and take him to the bedroom for a couple of hours you deserve the release as much as him.

By the way Sex IS good for the woman as well as the man..... If you relax and take the time to enjoy it....

35 married and love it... sex could be better... but marrige is great....

Sum it ---> The person that coined the phrase "DONT SWEAT THE SMALL THINGS" was a genius. Women you just don’t understand this....

WOW!! Scott needs to take a deep breath and relax. MOST women don’t use fatigue or stress as an excuse - it’s reality. A lot of people aren’t able to recognise that their plates are too full. For the first seven years of my marriage I worked full-time plus while my husband was in school full-time. Our marriage survived him getting his PhD, by the hairs on his chinny chin chin. While he was in school "we" developed some bad habits. I worked full-time, had two kids, took care of house AND yard - he takes out the trash and puts gas in the cars. The responsibility shift hasn’t changed, but my weight, sex drive and mood have! No surprise there - I am sure that Hurried Woman Syndrome is NOT just another convenient diagnosis. Until society gets a new outlook on the expectations of the female role - we will never change our "excuses"! Men have always been labeled the "bread maker" and women as the "home maker." In an era of two income families, women are now expected to be both the "bread and home maker." Are the expectations we place on ourselves and by our spouses / families too high? Is it any wonder we fall asleep when we sit still, have no interest in sex, have HIGHER expectations of romance from our spouses?

I just heard about Hurried Woman Syndrome on the news this morning. I don’t have kids and I’m not married, but I live with my boyfriend and work full-time. I agree that regardless of how society has "changed" it oftentimes is still the woman’s responsibility, unless the significant other volunteers, to make sure the house is clean, dinner is on the table, laundry is done, etc. Our office has been severly short-handed and because of my perfectionistic tendencies, which are a large part of my problem, I admit, the stress from work has been distributed throughout my life. I am so relieved that I am not the only one who has unexplicable weight gain ( I work out, watch what I eat), moodiness, and despair. Thank you.

I just heard about Hurried Woman Syndrome on the news this morning. I don’t have kids and I’m not married, but I live with my boyfriend and work full-time. I agree that regardless of how society has "changed" it oftentimes is still the woman’s responsibility, unless the significant other volunteers, to make sure the house is clean, dinner is on the table, laundry is done, etc. Our office has been severly short-handed and because of my perfectionistic tendencies, which are a large part of my problem, I admit, the stress from work has been distributed throughout my life. I am so relieved that I am not the only one who has unexplicable weight gain ( I work out, watch what I eat), moodiness, and despair. Thank you.

I just heard about Hurried Woman Syndrome on the news this morning. I don’t have kids and I’m not married, but I live with my boyfriend and work full-time. I agree that regardless of how society has "changed" it oftentimes is still the woman’s responsibility, unless the significant other volunteers, to make sure the house is clean, dinner is on the table, laundry is done, etc. Our office has been severly short-handed and because of my perfectionistic tendencies, which are a large part of my problem, I admit, the stress from work has been distributed throughout my life. I am so relieved that I am not the only one who has unexplicable weight gain ( I work out, watch what I eat), moodiness, and despair. Thank you.

What are we hurrying to, I get the feeling we will never get there. Acceptance, can bring peace and harmony. The solution can be taut to one from a book, but I had to go through years of restlessness and discontent and finally severe depression before I was beaten to a state of reasonableness. A married man I wish I could spare my wife the effects of (Hurried person syndrome) ,but she will have to figure it out on her own.Most of the stress I feel is from the delusion that I am in control of the results of my efforts. Today I worry not about the result but more about the effort. God, is responsible for the results. I accept that.

i really dont know how to fix my problem.
from all the above testomonies it sound like to me that maybe i do have this hurried person syndrome. my marriage is on the verge of colapsing. my husband says that he is sick of being rejected. he doesnt seem to understand that i do love him i just get no enjoyment oou of sex so i cant see the reason behind having it. to me it seem a waste of time and energy
yes i am overweight
yes i am moody
yes i am busy
im a student, mother of two, soccer manager, student rep, treasurer of football club
my god you say slow down woman
but in the grand scheme of things all i really want is to make my husband happy.........oh yeah and enjoy sex would be nice

any ideas?

It sounds like this "syndrome" is just a symptom of our society (Western culture) and we need to slow down and "smell the roses" - I actually hate cliches (especially that one) but there it is.
Is it really that important that we have the big house and the 3 car garage, new vehicles, a coordinated house decor, etc. etc. Do our kids need to play all of that soccer and dance. What the heck are they going to do with that. How about turning the TV off, having a game of scrabble, reading a book together, just talking.
Lets be thankful that we have (at a minimum) a humble house to live in, safe neighborhoods (for most of us) and that we CAN be overweight and don’t have to worry about starvation. Wake-up America look at what most of the world has to put up with. In Mexico, a one room cinder block house is considered solid to upper middle class. Your kids don’t need another video game, they don’t need to watch MTV, and self-possessed people in the "real-world". Maybe they could watch it to see how stupid some of the things that we fret about are!
If you’re overweight, treat it, go on a diet, be hungry for awhile, its no fun, do it and move on to the next thing. If your over-scheduled, cut some things out, it might be that your kids aren’t really enjoying it either.
I believe that this syndrome fits snugly into, among other things,the chronic weight problem (with all age groups and BOTH genders) this country has, the excess and the want for more stuff, bigger SUV’s, snowmobiles, jetskis, etc.
Yes, more often than not, women feel "hurried" because of their goals, but maybe by reassessing the goals and simplifying, they could truly be more happy, by cutting back on the unnecessary schedule elements. Why try to prove to others that you can "do it all", calm down, be happy with who you are not what you are or feel that you need to be. Just be a smart thoughtful person.

I realize some people have to work and juggle kids activities, that is tough, but this would involve very thoughtful and tricky culling of activities through prioritizing what is really important to the family. You can’t manufacture more time in your life, but you can decide how you can use it more enjoyably. It goes fast enough the way it is, don’t schedule every minute.
I somewhat had fallen into this HWS category, but am trying to deal with it through lifestyle changes, its very hard to give some things up, I am always questioning as to the real necessity of things and activities, sort of a "tool or toy" test.
I currently don’t work (I’m very lucky and I treasure this choice immensely), we have cars with 200,000+ miles on them, furniture that is tattered, things don’t match, the house needs paint, our kids can’t dance and don’t play soccer on a regular basis, but they’re pretty happy and they do PLAY, just plain old play. And I actually have time to spend withthem which is worth more than anything else in the world. Oh yeah, my husband too! He’s great and very supportive, usually gives good advice that I sometimes take!

I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be "happy". I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honororable, to be compassionate,. It is, above all, to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.
-Leo C. Rosten

It’s really sad that people don’t understand that the mental and physical are related. So telling people to not eat and just exercise won’t help them if they are mentally exhausted. I don’t have kids- and can’t imagine having them becuase I am soo exhausted without them. I work full time, go to grad school at night, and I am the breadwinner in my family and I am in charge of bills.

I run marathons-, eat healthy, and exercise daily- yet I have still managed to gain at leat 5-10 pounds every year for the past 5 years. My doctors have even given me thyroid tests cause they don’t understand how someone so fit- can still gain weight. The final diagnosis- Stress.

So sure I could let my husband pay the bills- but he can’t go to work for me, or go to school for me. I can’t quit my job because that’s how I can affort grad school and I am not quitting grad school because this is what I want to do with my life.

So for all you people who say- just relax, let yourself go, don’t do so much- why should I compromise what I want to do with my life, just so it makes you feel better about not being all you can be and let yourself go?

Do you really think woman with HWS are the ones making up excuses?