solace here
I’ve been finding more solace in recording things in my journal lately. My feelings are so intense about some of the things that have been going on, and that makes me need this place to release even more. Since going out and making friends isn’t really an option, I’ve really been appreciating the wonderful friends that I talk with every day through my journal. Thank you.
Time is still going so fast. It feels like I am in slow motion while the clock keeps moving normal speed. E reminded me that I just can’t do as much as I used to, that I was just fluttering and speeding around before, and so to not be that productive makes me feel slow. I’m sure that’s true, but it doesn’t make it any less of a loss to deal with. The days move so fast that I don’t feel like I am accomplishing even the bare minimum of what I should be. E is doing almost all of the housework now. And I have this ingrained need to do that stuff. But not the energy and not the motivation.
So my journal is my solace for now. Where I can truly express myself and take refuge in the friends that are so constant and wonderful, even if they aren’t here in person 
Thank you.
Comments
I think part of why I come here SO MUCH is because you are so kind in your posts. I don’t recall seeing a mean thing said about anything here. May be corny but I’d love to get to know you better, you are a really interesting and kind hearted person. Maybe we could be good friends
I use my journal for the same thing. I can say there what I can’t say to people in my offline life. I feel a little lost if I don’t do anything for a few days.
Posted by: Carla | October 19, 2002 12:57 PM
Thank YOU, Kristine. I’ve only 'known' you a short time, but I keep coming back for more. And trust me, that’s not something I do frequently in "real life".
The important things will always get done, and I’m sure E doesn’t begrudge a second of the time he spends making your life easier.
Posted by: maddy | October 19, 2002 01:34 PM
If I was there I would give you a big ol' hug. I adore you to bits and pieces and I hope you always know that. I have always been so thankful for your friendship, and for all the times you listen to me.
Know what would be the best day to me? Hanging out with Kristine-y in my squishy comfy pajama pants and a sweatshirt, playing on the PC, and giggling - which I am sure we would do a lot of. Wouldn’t that be fun? Someday I might just have to buy a plane ticket and head west to visit you and your mountain.
Posted by: Christine | October 19, 2002 01:48 PM
It would be a geek girl slumber party
Posted by: Carla | October 19, 2002 02:31 PM
Well I lurk around here [as you know] and it’s always so uplifing to read your journal entries which is why I lurk
.
Posted by: kathryn | October 19, 2002 09:32 PM