kadyellebee

It makes me sad to think about. I know, I could just not think about it, but that’s not possible all the time. My job is less fufulling than ever, 'specially when so many positive things happen like the last few days in jobs i’d like to be doing.

I don’t like being so unhappy under the surface. My dad offhandedly mentioned while talking to my uncle that "it was in my head." I don’t think he meant it as bad as it sounded, but... And then he said something about "easing my mom out of her job" That’s not the forceful way that it should be working so I get the power. Its gonna always still have her there if we just "ease." :sigh: So those two things happening this week really got to me.

I missed a few pills this week. Maybe that’s some of my problem. I need to attach them to my nightstand in front of my clock so I can’t go to sleep w/o them.

How can I be unhappy under the surface with so much positive around me? I don’t want to. I really don’t. I have so many good friends that I’m getting closer to, and so many wonderful things that are happening.

Man, I wish I understand myself better. I wish I knew the right thing to do.

Here I go back to my happiness - I’m gonna reply to some emails and get some stuff done while watching Buffy....