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pros and cons

So yesterday was not an ideal day. Not only did my cold come on again early afternoon, but I dealt with statements stress for much of the day, and then Peachtree crashed for some unknown reason and we had to go back to the last good backup from 10am. I hate it. I don’t know how to assure that it won’t do this when/if I leave.

This post is a work in process because there are still so many things to consider

So, in addition to that, Mom let me know that she made an appointment with the tax guy for the 14th. Wait a second. That’s NEXT thursday. Which means I have only Tuesday to finish getting all of the year end data? That’s a load of crap because I have way too much to do. And for her to not plan that with me in mind shouldn’t cause me to have to come in on other days to make up for her.... :sigh: I am on July in the statements, and I have hundreds of transactions with questions from Jan-July still. I have itemizing of a vendor to do still. And besides that, then I have to figure out all the inventory data, and print reports for every expense account. I just don’t understand her, sometimes.

I was laying in bed stressing, so I got up and called Annette to make sure things were going okay. I had a brainstorm—(note to self - if you understand this, you must have a degree in kristine-speak!) change 2012’s to z codes and then rename mc2012’s to 2012’s so I don’t loose my inventory purchase data behind them.

I hate to see Mom ruining this business. But I also hate to see her hating me for the rest of my life for having dad tell her that I’m leaving because of her, and if she gets out, I might stay. Leonard really wants to work with me and have me stay. Annette has said she will do everything she can to take jobs off of my back and onto her desk. Dad begs and pleads in his letter. BUT what if I make myself more stressed out? What if I suggest that Mom not be there and then it changes the dynamic of our family into a tailspin (which is where it appears to be going anyhow between mom and dad). What if I suggest that mom not be there and then I create more work for myself than I can handle again? And then there’s the money issues - They owe me so much money, and I haven’t had any sort of a raise in the almost 4 years that I’ve been there. I feel that I’m more valuable than that. But what a selfish thought when I’m paid more than Leonard who is working his butt off. I actually would rather see Leonard and Annette get a raise before me. I mean, yes, I would like to feel rewarded, but I think they need to feel more rewarded than me. I would rather have time off than a raise. How long would I want to make a commitment for? Not for life, that’s for sure. What about the goals I was working on for myself? Can I still have time to do those things?

So if I do stay, how many hours a day could I afford (not in money terms, in lack of doing work terms) to take off? Does dad really want me if I don’t decided to be full time and totally committed to a life-time of locatis-leather-servitude? Would he be open to some work from home if E could set it up? For days that I’m not feeling my best, could I work from home? Can we take the day to day responsiblities off of me and put the main ones on Annette so that it wouldn’t be absolutely necessary that I would have to be there right on time every day?

Pros to staying:

  • I wouldn’t be letting everyone down
  • I could continue contributing to E and I’s income
  • It would be nice to continue working with the vendors and customers and employees. I like the dynamics of the business
  • I love working with my dad. And Leonard is so much more agreeable to working with me. And Annette and I have a perfect working relationship.
  • I’d have a real base job that I could keep doing possibly into the time I have kids.
  • I could be doing mom a favor by letting her get out and do something she’d really love
  • If I was to have some of the jobs lifted off of me, I could really focus on the important projects
  • I could finally make the calls on things and feel like I wasn’t just a pawn under mom’s fingertips

Cons to staying
  • I could destroy my family by making mom leave
  • My health could take a turn for the worse because of the stress
  • I’d still be in charge of so much and this could be more stressful because there would be no one to relieve me since mom wouldn’t be around.
  • I might feel like I’m doing this because I am too guilty to leave
  • I wouldn’t get the exciting chance to be at home and develop my business and do that alone
  • I’d have a hard time actually leaving at the end of the day, and leaving my thoughts behind; even more so with more responsibilties
  • Could be even longer before I get the back-pay.

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