job dilemna
Well, part of the reason I’ve been feeling so down is something my dad said to me yesterday. I haven’t told anybody about this yet, but was keeping it inside, and finally feel like writing about it, now that I’m a bit more alive and thinking clearly.
Late last week, I asked my dad if he had told Mom and Leonard about me leaving my job. He said that mom knew, but he hadn’t told Leonard. Then he smart-alecly said "we need to talk, I don’t think you are really leaving" or something to that effect. He’s in denial I guess. So that was the end of the conversation, and nothing more had been said until yesterday.
My dad talked to one of his good friends in Spokane about my job situation. He offhandedly mentioned yesterday what Gary suggested he do about the situation. Fire my mom.
Wow. That brings so many issues to my head. First off, that is my dad choosing me over my mom, and it would crush her. Secondly, it won’t necessarily eliminate her because she’s still an owner and still would need to do some of the paperwork and money-dealing-with. Thirdly, that only means more work for me if I need to take over what she’s doing. Fourthly, it really is powerful that dad wants me to stay that much.
So much to think about. I want to leave SO much. I need to leave, because I just tear up thinking about having to re-make my decision. Its so much pressure for him to drop this on me and then leave. It will cause another rift between him and mom (who already have a severly unhealthy relationship), and me and mom in return. I don’t want that. But I also don’t want dad feeling so lost without me.
Ugh. My brain is so full - where’s the off switch?!
Comments
You would still work with Leonard, and as a part-owner of the company your mom would still technically be your boss. I can only see that scenario being worse for you, not any better.
Posted by: Dara | January 16, 2002 03:34 PM
I agree with Dara, sweetie. The problems you’re having with work would not go away at all, and might get worse. You did the right thing when you made your decision and shared it with your father...now it’s his turn to make the right decision and support you and what’s best for you. You’re a strong person, and you can do this! You have lots and lots of supporters to help back you up. : )
Posted by: Rina | January 16, 2002 04:05 PM
I almost feel angry that my dad has suggested this, because its really not a decision that I should be having to make, my mom being out the business. I just want peace.
I know you are both right. I really want to do the best thing, and I wish my dad could just accept it and let me go. But that’s easier said than done, right?!
Oh, and one more thing that you guys will be excited to hear..... Leonard has been amazingly better lately. I’ve actually :gasp: enjoyed working with him. Since Chris left, Leonard has been in charge, and is working his butt off. Its really amazing, and I’m so glad that I’ll be able to go out on a good note with him rather than angry. I know he’ll probably not understand why I’m leaving instead of sticking it out, but at least we got a chance to get along for a month or so before it all ends.
Thanks so much for being my supporters
Posted by: kristine | January 16, 2002 05:19 PM