mhd
I’m at home. I got to sleep a bunch extra this morning (I stayed in bed until E left at 8something and then ate breakfast and came back for a 2-3 hour nap). I sweating up a storm from doing some basic housework for 20 minutes. I did the dishes and started to pick up the living room. Nothing that should cause me to be all tired out, but it did. I ate lunch and watched a Makeover Story on TLC while I was eating and cleaning.
I still feel pretty discouraged. Depressed because I felt like I was doing SO good at eating better, and then to find out that I still have a ways to go was really discouraging. Dara suggested giving up sugar, and maybe that’s a solution, but I already feel like I’ve given up so much to get to where I’m at, and I like my sugar. I’ve worked so hard to drink 100% juice and more water than ever and cut back from 3 sodas a day to 1... blah.
My sister wrote to say she’s hoping that I find peace and calm from God today. She found the following text by opening her Bible randomly and thought it might help me.
And He will arise and shepherd His flock
In the strength of the LORD,
In the majesty of the name of the LORD His God.
And they will remain,
Because at that time He will be great
To the ends of the earth.
This One will be our peace.
copied from New American Stand since I didn’t feel the energy to walk downstairs and grab my Bible.
I am playing at the USDA’s Interactive Healthy Eating Index, and I’ll let ya know if I find out better news with this than my own personal calculations 
I don’t feel very ambitious today towards any of my projects. I want to feel ambitious, but its just not working. Maybe I’ll try and draw.
I do need to cook for E tonight. You know that its been too long since I’ve made him sweets when he’s trying to eat stale cookies from Christmas that were still hanging around. :giggle: Oops. So its time to bake for him. I think I’ll do something easy from a box, just because I don’t have that much energy.
I’m listening to a selection of my Christian music to try and get myself back UP. The songs that have randomly come on are probably a sign . . . Picture Frame by Larue (see words below), Awesome God by the amazing late Rich Mullins, and now SCC’s Let Us Pray. Amazing songs, with a wonderful message. I need to breathe and let go of my own needs and let God take care of me. Maybe I’ll go downstairs and do some yoga to relax my soul and spirit.
So in light of all of this, I’m not going to try too hard to make myself lists of things to do. What happens happens, and I will just try my hardest to have a happy smile by the time E comes home.
Good plan?
Picture Frame
By Phillip and Natalie LaRue of Larue
Lord, God You are my only answer
Holy Father, You are my only prayer
I need Your love to guide me through my troubles
I need Your light to guide me through despair
You are standing there, in Your righteous throne
Help me to see the truth
Help me, I’m all alone
And there’s a picture frame on the wall
It’s a shame there’s no picture to put in it
And you’re outside looking in, you think you’re fine
But your heart is full of sin
Jesus Christ, You are the love of my life
You judge in wisdom, faith, love and truth
Help me, guide me, my life is in Your hands
Forgo my anger, frustration and fear
You are reaching out, Your hand to me
Help me to grasp it tight, help me will all Your might
Lord God You are my only answer
Comments
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling down, lately, Kristine. (( hugs )) If it’s any consolation, I tried to watch what I ate for 2 days and gave up. LOL!
Posted by: Candi | January 16, 2002 02:46 PM
Hi again. : )
Baby steps are good, Kristine... they mean you’re moving in the right direction! Be proud of what you’ve done so far. Don’t beat yourself up over what else you could have done.
There are many doctors that feel sugar can be addictive, in a similar biochemical way that alcohol and drugs are. If you feel you cannot live without your sugar (it is NOT abnormal to feel that way—a lot of people do) you may be extra sensitive to it (that’s one reason why you like it so much—it makes you feel good).
Anyway, you seem to be an excellent researcher and you have an open mind about a lot of topics... so I only want to suggest these as areas you may be interested in exploring.
At the end of the day, only you can decide what works for you.
Posted by: Dara | January 16, 2002 03:07 PM
kristine, you need to give up juice. i can’t tell you how loaded with carbs juice is - even though its 100% juice, its loaded with natural sugars, which are carbs, which are bad for you. you might as well go back to drinking the soda for all the sugar you’re taking in!
i know it probably sounds cliche, but pick up a copy of the "sugar busters" book - i bought it for my mom last january, and she immediately began following it, to the letter. in the past year, she’s dropped 35 lbs., without dieting.
sugar busters its a lifestyle, not a diet, but if you can follow it, you’ll feel better and healthier, i promise
Posted by: shawn | January 16, 2002 03:26 PM