kadyellebee

I don’t feel like my job is very rewarding. I think that’s a sucky thing that I shouldn’t have to have. For one, its not very financial rewarding since I don’t have a steady paycheck. For another, I’m welcomed with such awful attitudes from EVERYONE about the tasks that I do.

My mom wanted to dispute with me about freight on a severly past due vendor. Just pay the frickin bill! Its not worth disputing $250 when you owe 40xs that!

So I spent my lunch break at my desk, trying to make this vendors account balance while eating with the other hand.

:sigh: Every day, another big stupid challenge that is pointless. I can’t wait to leave. :sigh:

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I have almost tears in my eyes. I swear, I’m not just overly emotion. Its not just that I’m too sensative like Dad’s implied. We keep finding mistakes and issues that are too obvious to be done accidently. Its so frustrating to be knowing that people are sabotaging something that I’ve worked so hard for. Now I simply don’t care. If mom was to come in and push things with me, I would quit right now. This instant. I’d call the hotel and talk to dad, maybe. I feel so sad. My quietness is obvious to those around me. They can see how upset I am. E was trying hard to cheer me up last night, but I didn’t have anything positive to say. I can hear myself getting negative - my remarks sound very eeyore-ish. "Why bother trying." "Its just my tail, its okay that you stomped on it." :sigh:

I need to pull myself out, but I feel like I’m sinking.