kadyellebee

we had a little meeting today - 2 1/2 hours of discussing the inventory and how we could make things work better. No huge end results were made, but we have plans to meet again in a month. We had a few things that we agreed to work on. I’m gonna make some new forms for them to use. They are aware that I need info for inventory. Leonard still forced his points that weren’t super helpful. Annette got out some good points. Chris didn’t say much. I can’t tell if its good or not. I probaby won’t know until I hear them talking about it behind my back!

Then I went on a walk with Dad. I told him that I was gonna only work 4 days a week. He said okay. We’ll consider it as sick days for now. I’ll be in contact by phone and if there’s a computer emergency, they’ll come get me so I can fix it. I’ve given mom the payroll job, but I’ll still be expected to complete as much of my job as I have been (which is mostly do-able). He also told me that mom isn’t doing so well, which worries me. But I need to worry about me right now, however selfish that sounds.

I feel like a selfish pig - I almost never do things just for me. I keep asking myself: Is this really necessary? Am I important enough to take a day off a week? Shouldn’t I wait until I’m old and grey to do things to help myself? Why is my stress so much more important than mom and Annette’s to me right now? Is that fair?

But then again, I overanalyze. And right now, I need to stop. Stop second guessing and start following my heart. I care too much to leave all together, but I care too much about E and me to continue being so frazzled by the end of the week that it takes all weekend to recover to start again.

that’s my talks. yay for courage and strength.