kadyellebee

She just kept going on and on, and Leonard and Megan and I all tried to explain to her that none of us had even close to the privledges that she has when we were 17. But she just sees that she wants to do things and go places, and mom says no. And its so frustrating to listen to. She has the kind of personality that won’t let things rest, and just fails to be persuaded to a point of view that’s opposite of hers. She’s always been a bit self-centered, and its very obvious right now that she’s only thinking of her own wants and desires. But the problem is, she’s hanging out with people who aren’t good for her. She’s hanging out with a boy who is 20 years old, and has been in the Army. What the hell - she’s only 17? She doesn’t see anything wrong with this herself.

So, I’m really tired of fighting with her about things. She says things like "Mom’s such a bitch, she won’t let me do anything" and then expects me to agree with her. Its just too much work for me right now, and she’s bringing me down to a level that I don’t want to be on.

Yesterday afternoon at 4, she called mom and had a fight with her over the phone. (she wanted to go "hang out" at some boys house - she didn’t really them, and mom definitely didn’t know them. So of course she wasn’t gonna let her go!) At about 4:10, I was still sitting there listening to her rant, and started to close down the computers. She slammed the phone and stomped out, and I didn’t know where she went. So I sat there for another 1/2 hour working before I started to worry how I was gonna get home. Come to find out, she was in the back talking to Leonard all that time. By the time the two of them (and Megan) came up to the front, Lisa was angry and had tears in her eyes. I told her I didn’t want to ride with her home when she was this angry - she got mad and said she was fine to drive. But there was no way I was gonna go home with her. So Megan brought me to their house and after a while, her and mom took me home.

When I walked in the door and saw E, I was so glad for a hug. Tears could have come so easily at that point, because I felt so worn out. I sat on the couch and talked to him for a while, and he said this whole thing was too stressful for me. Which I agreed with, but its my family, I can’t do much about it except try to stay out of the arguments. I told him I’d be happy if I didn’t have to see Lisa again for the rest of the summer. I feel bad saying that, but its really been a bad summer between us.

So Anyhow, I’m paying for this stress today. My back is all knotted, and my hip is so sore that I can barely walk. When I get stressed, my body rebels apparently. :sigh: I feel down, and like my spirit has been stomped on, even when none of this really is my problem.

Blah. I need to get some things done here before going to work, but I felt that this all needed to come out first.