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Apologies don't always make it all okay

My mom came and apologized this morning. She said that she felt bad that we hadn’t been talking, and that the main reason she wasn’t talking to me was because I snapped at her. I really don’t remember a specific incident, and she doesn’t either. Duh. I was annoyed that she hadn’t asked for help and had been entering stuff incorrectly into the computer. This was a real annoyance to me because I didn’t know what else she was doing on the computer that I didn’t know she was doing wrong. And she hadn’t thought to ask for help. But I don’t remember snapping about it. *sigh* Could have been anything else, too - of course I very well could have snapped at her, Friday was HELLISH.

It really doesn’t negate some of the things she’s been doing, though. She assumes that I’m being confrontational about everything, but in reality, I’m stressed, and trying my hardest to make sure that everybody knows what is going on. Sometimes that means that I have to ask people what’s going on. Her issues with waiting until the last second to ask me to do something and her "Are you done with that yet" after giving it to me won’t change. I have too much going on to be able to stop everything I’m doing and do her tasks, no matter how hard I try. She still hasn’t gotten me some office supplies I’ve been asking for for a month - and things like that will never change. It just really doesn’t seem like a good long-term working together plan will ever work. And personally, the whole deal with her being the one I drive with really will have to not continue because I’m too stressed with her.

Much of this boils down to the fact that I am feeling less comfortable with my whole job, and with her emotions raging the way they are, she isn’t concentrated enough for me to throw any tasks on to her plate. My stress level and number of hours working increases every day, but there’s not enough time (read: patience) for me to teach her to do these things - it would be one more worry about things being inputted correctly. *sigh*

So I carry on. I will survive a little longer, and the weekends will revive me. Eric will still love me. My webpage will still give me a needed outlet for any extra energy that comes my way. And my journal will get a workout!


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My mom and I never really got along well, we existed, I can’t say we were ever friends, just mother/daughter. And I really wanted her as a friend, not just my mom too. She would come to visit and have to do everything for me and I would just want to sit and chit chat, but no, she would insist. ANd I was married w/2 kids and mid 20’s. Until one day, I told her to stop, we got in the BIGGEST arguement of my life and every since then we have been very close. I told her some things that bugs me about her and her about I. I don’t recommend this the way for anyone, it just kinda happened, I often wonder what it would be like if that hadn’t happened. I do know that I don’t know what I would do without my mom, I love her to pieces and she is one if my dearest friends too.

Kristine, wow, you sound like you need a VACATION. If I were rich and/or famous, I’d send you to a spa resort! wink Hope things start calming down for you soon. Stress SUCKS.

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