The life that was to be

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I finally am acknowledging something that's been in the back of my mind for a while: I've been mourning the life I had hoped to have. It's easy to compare myself to those around me who I see as "successful".  Things like a traditional job, having babies, being a good housewife.  And I'm not fitting into the plans I had for my life.

I feel like I've failed in my health. How can having serious chronic illnesses be a failure? CFIDS and Fibromyalgia, along with dealing with health/weight issues takes up a LOT of my time and energy.  This has made a serious impact on my plans for life.  Watching an episode of House (Season 2's Acceptance) reminded me of the 5 Stages of Grief.  I think that I've been between Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance multiple times over the last few years.

Another thing which triggered me to think was a new episode of What Not to Wear (Amanda)  She had a business which didn't make it, and she was hiding in big because she felt like she failed.  The whole episode was really a transformation of her attitude to be positive and sexy again.  I can see that some of the things I've done lately have been done in an effort to recapture the SPARK in my life.

What do I take from this?  It's actually quite encouraging to me to write this down.  I am happy and hopeful.  So what's next?  Stay tuned: I know I will do things I love.

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kristine

...at a glance

kristine is a giggly geeky crafty girl, growing in faith and hope.

You're going to love the fabulous flavor and satisfying crunchy sweetness of this Peppermint Crunch Popcorn! It takes just minutes to prepare and would make the perfect gift this holiday season! Take this to your holiday party and let the compliments roll in!
Gorgeous colorful hair || deep purple lavender silver gray hair color
Need an easy dinner that takes no more effort than popping a few ingredients in a pan? This hearty take on lasagna is made with 5 ingredients and absolutely no fuss—just add it all to your 13x9, and pop it in the oven. A quick stir just before it’s done, plus a touch of extra cheese, helps ensure a perfectly baked dish.
Looking for the BEST sugar cookie cut out recipe? These Cream Cheese Sugar Cookies are so flavorful and they always hold their shape. Don't forget to add the delicious Vanilla Bean Frosting too!
kristine queued Scintillation by Hunter Hammersen
kristine queued Persian Tile Blanket by Jane Crowfoot
kristine favorited OrangeShooze's Persian Tile / Eastern Jewels Blanket


About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by kristine published on June 23, 2009 2:06 PM.

Diet thoughts was the previous entry in this blog.

Ways to spend the day is the next entry in this blog.

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