The life that was to be

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I finally am acknowledging something that's been in the back of my mind for a while: I've been mourning the life I had hoped to have. It's easy to compare myself to those around me who I see as "successful".  Things like a traditional job, having babies, being a good housewife.  And I'm not fitting into the plans I had for my life.

I feel like I've failed in my health. How can having serious chronic illnesses be a failure? CFIDS and Fibromyalgia, along with dealing with health/weight issues takes up a LOT of my time and energy.  This has made a serious impact on my plans for life.  Watching an episode of House (Season 2's Acceptance) reminded me of the 5 Stages of Grief.  I think that I've been between Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance multiple times over the last few years.

Another thing which triggered me to think was a new episode of What Not to Wear (Amanda)  She had a business which didn't make it, and she was hiding in big because she felt like she failed.  The whole episode was really a transformation of her attitude to be positive and sexy again.  I can see that some of the things I've done lately have been done in an effort to recapture the SPARK in my life.

What do I take from this?  It's actually quite encouraging to me to write this down.  I am happy and hopeful.  So what's next?  Stay tuned: I know I will do things I love.

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kristine

...at a glance

kristine is a giggly geeky crafty girl, growing in faith and hope.

Jacinda’s denim overalls and pink knit sleeve top on Once Upon a Time.  Outfit Details: https://wornontv.net/84422/ #ouat  ~i like this (as altered) and it makes me want to knit something similar~k
Wheelchair Access at Disneyland & Walt Disney World | Rolling with the Magic
disABILITIES! | The DIS Disney Discussion Forums - DISboards.com
Touring Plans for Disney - includes accessibility/disability notes for rides and closures.
kristine favorited Echo Mega by spoutknits
kristine favorited Arcadia Poncho by Melissa LaBarre
kristine favorited Kate's Poncho by Nice and Knit


About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by kristine published on June 23, 2009 2:06 PM.

Diet thoughts was the previous entry in this blog.

Ways to spend the day is the next entry in this blog.

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