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Too nice for your own good?

Too nice for your own good? Edmonton Journal, Canada-Apr 7, 2003
- there are a few interesting quotes from this article promoting Gabor Maté’s new book, When the Body Says No: Understanding the Stress-Disease Connection

People who help everybody else first, ignoring their own needs, become stressed, opening themselves to all kinds of physical ailments.
People think chronic stress is a normal part of life, but it’s actually the result of beliefs that have been programmed into us [, ...and ] is rooted in childhood. Women especially are programmed to look after others instead of themselves and feel guilty when they don’t, fearing they’ll lose their relationship, that their partner won’t accept them as a less than all-giving person.

I think this book will be added to my library request list.


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I’m going to have to read that book too. It sounds interesting. My teaching supervisor’s research area is stress and health, and I’ve gotten to work on a few of her projects. Her most interesting research so far (to me at least) has been investigating whether or not daily writing about your stress helps to reduce the physical effects. In her study so far, writing has been correlated with a decrease in report of physical distress.

sad uh-oh, that sounds too familiar to me. Thanks for finding this.gem

that looks really interesting kristine. giving above and beyond what is healthy is a characteristic of the two personality type especially. check this out

Hey, before you get that book, could you help me with a couple of things?



I do think it has to do with how you’re raised, like that blurb says.

My mom ran the family, even though my dad was the one with the high-paying job... my mom did the taxes, bills, gave my dad money (instead of the other way around), and was generally a very motivated person...she always taught us that no one was going to look out for your wellbeing but you...which I think has made me a nice person, but also pretty independent and protective of my own self. If my boyfriend tries to get me to do him favors that will hurt me, I definitely don’t bend. I come first, but not at the expense of others...which reminds me very much of my mom. She definitely didn’t play the loving, ever-helpful wife role, even though I had a happy family.

You might also be interested in Too Nice for Your Own Good : How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes by Duke Robinson. It’s not a book about stress-relief, but it had that effect on me.

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