The journal site for Kristine Beeson of HopelessRomantics. A series of hopes and dreams.
July 27, 2001 ~:~ 11:45am
I woke up late this morning and didn't get a chance to visit everywhere I wanted to. I didn't do everything on my morning routine, either, but its friday - its to be expected that I'm more tired. I did have raisin bran with a banana on top and a glass of grape juice for breakfast - I'm getting healthy! :)
An NSync article for you. The songs on this new album sound like they will be good... yes, I'm saying I like a boy band! Anyhow, now that I know how obsessive about them Leesa is, I can't help but think of her when I read things about them! Reminder to self: send Leesa money for her project :)
I chatted last night. For the first time in probably a year. I felt like part of a community. It was so good for my soul. Zalary is so good for my soul. She makes me smile. And I got to talk to Trish - we've known each other for quite a while but this is the first time we've gotten to *know* each other. This is the first time since Ingo stuff that I really feel like I could be part of an online family again. I was so hurt over the Ingo stuff.... I think I'm ready to be a friend again.
I turned off AIM after my move because I was just in too much conflict with myself to talk to anyone. I'm almost feeling that I'm to the point where I could do that again. My rina-doll and I have only talked a few times lately, and I think she needs a friend right now. I miss her.
- ©, Kristine
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July 27, 2001 ~:~ 10:30am
I did it. I talked to my dad about the stressful elements of my job. I told him I was on drugs for my depression and anxiety. He assured me that he thought I was doing a good job, and that he understood the people who were causing me stress. We talked for a while about some of the issues... interupted by Leonard... talked for a while more... interupted by mom. Bother. But at least he knows now. I may not have an immediate solution, but at least he knows, and I don't have to stress about telling him any longer.
I really don't know what the solution is at this moment. I like this business, its a part of me. I like 80% of the employees. I enjoy satisfying the customers. Its just the other 20% of the employees who make my job SO much harder than it needs to be, and my mother whos constantly belittling me and confusing me by screwing things up. So I'm gonna try a bit harder, my drugs aren't even kicking all of the way in yet - I have about another month before that will happen... and hopefully things will settle down. I don't expect things to ever change for long term with the guys or with mom. That's impossible. But maybe I'll get less concerned about it.
Breathing helps :) Breathing is good. And Erica sent me links to some yoga pages - that might help me, too. Exercises I can do to relax at my desk. Yea. Maybe I'll get a yoga video and start doing it in the morning. It seems like that might be a good solution for my exercise. Maybe.
- ©, Kristine
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Microwave popcorn. 13 cups of goodness per bag.
Stabbing Westwards' Haunting song. Its stuck in my head since E played it on our drive home
Tara Music. Gives me peace among the storm.
Painting. I could do this all day.
Animal Cookies. Quick, catch the one that escaped from the bag!
Health Notes ~:~|
last week: 145 | 144 | 143 | 143 | 141
072301: 8hrs sleep; mostly good | 145
072401: 8hrs sleep; dr appt.; happy | 145
072501: 7.75hrs sleep; mostly good; afternoon stressed | 144
072601: 7.5hrs sleep; morning stressed, sleepy | 142
072701: 8.25hrs sleep; morning hurried, stressed some, talked to dad | 143
073101: 7.5hrs sleep |144
080101: 9hrs sleep | 142
080201: 8.5hrs sleep; stressed @work | 144
080301: 7.5hrs sleep; stressed @work | 145
062901 | 070701 | 071401 | 072101