The journal site for Kristine Beeson of HopelessRomantics. A series of hopes and dreams.
June 29, 2001 ~:~ 2:12PM
This has been a fluttery heart day. I woke up with an awful dream that seemed so real. Mom was standing over me, assuming I wasn't working (even though I could feel myself working really hard in the dream). I told her she didn't have to be cleaning, that it wasn't her responsiblity, that we should be paying someone to do it and that she could concentrate on her other jobs. I sounded really sincere, like I didn't want her to be so stressed. She fought my comments and I kept saying it, getting more annoyed. She finally countered back with an awful nasty look "I'm the only one who is willing to slave for him." (Him being my dad, with the direct implication that I wasn't working hard enough). I got up from where I was sitting and glared at her and just as I was about to slap her for saying that, I woke up.
I laid in bed for 15 minutes trying to get the dream out of my head so I could go back to sleep, but it didn't work. So I got up. Frustrating!
I want to reread Stef's list over and over to make it help me. I know it will. It will, and I will make it through everything.
I can feel myself hiding today. Hiding behind my hair, hiding in my office, cowering at the thought of confrontation. What does that mean?
- ©, Kristine
[427 comments] [#]
Microwave popcorn. 13 cups of goodness per bag.
Stabbing Westwards' Haunting song. Its stuck in my head since E played it on our drive home
Tara Music. Gives me peace among the storm.
Painting. I could do this all day.
Animal Cookies. Quick, catch the one that escaped from the bag!
Health Notes ~:~|
last week: 145 | 144 | 143 | 143 | 141
072301: 8hrs sleep; mostly good | 145
072401: 8hrs sleep; dr appt.; happy | 145
072501: 7.75hrs sleep; mostly good; afternoon stressed | 144
072601: 7.5hrs sleep; morning stressed, sleepy | 142
072701: 8.25hrs sleep; morning hurried, stressed some, talked to dad | 143
073101: 7.5hrs sleep |144
080101: 9hrs sleep | 142
080201: 8.5hrs sleep; stressed @work | 144
080301: 7.5hrs sleep; stressed @work | 145
062901 | 070701 | 071401 | 072101